Each of us has our own fear: someone is afraid of criticism and harsh statements, someone – loneliness, someone – a long relationship with a partner. Intimacy Phobia for today is a serious disorder that prevents many couples on the way to creating a family. Quite often intimacy phobia is called a womanizer, and the concept itself is interpreted as a fear of sexual relations, but in fact both representations are erroneous.
In modern megacities, it is common to encounter such phobia. Probably, each of us will easily remember a couple of charming and self-sufficient friends who are about 40 years old, and they have no wives, no families, no children. About their personal lives, they are used to joking: “Have not yet walked up.” But in fact, those suffering are simply afraid of close emotional relations with a partner. For such people, the phrase “I love you” sounds like a sentence. The main distinguishing feature of Aphenphosmphobia (fear of intimacy) from a womanizer is the fear of being rejected, unnecessary and crushed. Ladies’ men often fall in love, start a family and provide their children with a good future. Of course, such a family does not exclude treason, but many women purposely shut their eyes to it.
Strangely enough, but among women too many phobic. Self-sufficient careerists, for whom the family does not come first. It can not be said that they are alone, and it can not be said that they change men like gloves. They can have a long relationship but on condition of a strict distance. Breaking boundaries often lead to a nervous breakdown and a long emotional recovery.
Causes of the Aphenphosmphobia (Intimacy Phobia)
1.Tyranny in the family
One of the partners in the family humiliates another. Such a model of the family can have a painful effect on the child’s psyche. In his eyes, a stereotype of relations developed, which plunges him into horror. When he grows up, every attempt to build a relationship is accompanied by a fear of being humiliated.
2.Lack of attention
Parents work hard, the nanny constantly grumbles and forces to collect toys. At school, you are one in a thousand, the same child as many others. Lack of attention and love forms a detached idea of happiness and the opportunity to experience an unknown feeling with a completely different person to you.
3.Syndrome of the “ugly duckling”
You’re not as beautiful as your classmate, you do not have expensive sneakers and branded T-shirts. You have no friends, and everyone thinks you are strange. Such prerequisites of childhood set the person on the idea that “I will prove it to them, I will have everything: expensive clothes and a cool car.” Goals are set, achieved over the years, but the feeling of fear has not disappeared anywhere.
4.The first betrayal
A standard story is enough: first feelings, rivalry, betrayal and hatred. Absolute trust is lost to all women/men. Even time can not erase the memories of pain and humiliation. The heart turns to stone and is afraid to love.
In such cases, Aphenphosmphobia is a consequence of aggressive external influences, requiring special psychological treatment. It will take a very long time before a person returns to healthy life.
How to deal with Phobia of Physical Intimacy?
Many people are afraid to recognize themselves as a phobic. But, one way or another, you need to face the truth. To make it easier to understand yourself, start a psychoemotional diary and try to write down all emotions and feelings, especially when you are next to a nice person. After you know your problem, it will be easier to fight it. However, it is not always possible to cope with it alone. If your partner is experiencing a fear of intimate relationships, try not to press him emotionally, be tactful. Eliminate the problem is possible only with the help of an experienced specialist who will make a competent treatment program.