When others are divorced, we take it as an “everyday matter.” When a divorce divides your family in two, the “everyday thing” turns into the end of the world. What to do when the usual scenario of “live-be and make good” collapsed? Do not dramatize. Carefully leave the relationship and confidently enter a new life.
1. Unleash the senses
Inevitably, one will have to go through several emotional stages – lack of faith in what happened, attacks of hatred, “agree to everything, just to return,” awareness and acceptance. And only then there are forces and opportunities to move on. What stage of the drama are you in? Allow yourself to relive all the feelings you need to release. And move on.
2. Without sudden movements
Take time out in making any important decisions for the next couple of months. While you are in a state of shock, any actions, from shopping to relationships, will be erroneous, impulsive. Wait until the mental state becomes stable and stable, and the thought processes – rational and sober.
3. Wedge with a wedge
The formula “to knock out a wedge with a wedge” – to reincarnate yourself through new relationships – looks good only in theory. Healthy relationships can be built, is in a healthy state of mind. With a sick soul, painful communications are usually created. Because like attracts like.
4. Dispense suffering
In order not to bury your head in depression, dispense negative experiences. Scroll a few hours a week to “suffer.” Suppose Monday night. For the rest of the time, with the effort of will, stop the flow of the negative. This will help to remain resource – to maintain efficiency and productivity.
5. Focus on “here and now”
Concentrate on what is happening here and now. Focus your attention on what is happening in this place and in this instant. It turns off reflections on the past and returns to reality. Systematic immersion in the “here and now” is a wonderful psychotherapeutic medicine for people stuck for one reason or another to the painful experience of the past.
6. Do physical health
The body and mind are an indivisible whole. When one suffers, the other must be a strong help so that the complex “organism” mechanism can survive the disaster. Focus on proper nutrition, physical activity, respect for sleep and rest. Visit the dentist and other necessary doctors. Let the body be a solid foundation.
7. Surround yourself with “pleasure.”
Make a list of things that contact brings pleasure. It can be scented candles, warm socks, a good book, delicious perfume. Spend a certain amount to purchase these items and contact them daily. This will reduce the sharpness of the feeling of frustration.
8. To perform the farewell ritual
Get rid of things that are reminiscent of past relationships. Do not take care of them as a family heirloom. Fold in the box – photos, clothes, gifts – and throw away this trash. Or burn it. To build a new house, you need to demolish the old.
9. Take free time
If the work distracts from dark thoughts, leisure provides an excellent opportunity to engage in the painful chewing of the past. To avoid this, make the most of your free time. Going to the cinema, learning foreign languages, general cleaning – don’t leave a minute of free time on the emotional “chewing gum”.
10. Help those who are worse off.
Divorce is definitely a tragedy. But look around you. There are people who are worse off – poor or terminally ill. There are homeless animals – hungry and in need of care. Helping the disadvantaged, heal the soul, which always rises from good and unselfish deeds.