Many people lately have been looking for miraculous techniques and formulas that teaches them how to save their relationship. However, as important as knowing what to do right in a relationship is knowing what not to do to spoil it. If you can pay attention to your daily actions, identify and avoid the attitudes below, you will undoubtedly be contributing positively to the future of the relationship.
1. Avoid keeping your opinion
Avoid keeping your opinion about your partner’s attitudes that bother you, because what initially seems small may one day be the trigger for a major war. For example, if you bother about the wet towel on the bed, talk to him the first time this happens and clearly explain why it bothers you. If you are pushing with your belly, it may be that one day the drop of water for separation is just the wet blanket that insists on resting on the bed.
Avoid keeping resentment when he or she tells you something that you consider offensive. Try to get rid of this feeling before it can turn love into hatred. Two techniques allow you to avoid getting rabies. The first one: take a deep breath and just let the feeling go away – accept your partner as he is, including the flaws, because no one is perfect (not you). The second: talk to your partner about it and look for a solution that pleases both (and not just you). Try to speak without confronting, but in a way that expresses how you feel without being accusatory. Suddenly you may discover that the intention was not to offend you.
As difficult as it may seem, try to control your jealousy and overconfidence. Jealousy is a deadly poison for most relationships. Mild and thoughtful jealousy comes to be healthy for the relationship, but when it comes to controlling your partner, it turns into fights that both leave you unhappy. If you have problems with jealousy, and you go so far as to stop your life to chase the other, it is essential that you recognize that the root of this problem is your insecurity, which may be linked to your childhood, or to some previous relationship in that you were hurt. Therefore, it is necessary that you seek the help of a professional to share your insecurities and frustrations and no longer give vent to them in your relationship.
4. Avoid Excessive
Avoid idealizing and putting excessive expectations into being loved. Often at the beginning of the relationship, we expect our partners to put us first in everything, to surprise us, to support us, always to keep smiling and so on. Without realizing it, we create very high expectations and do not understand that our partner is not perfect, as no one else is. We can not expect them to be loving and caring every minute of every day, for everyone has difficult periods in life. We can not expect them to always think of us since they will also think of them or others at some point. We can not expect them to be exactly as we are since each is each. Very high expectations lead to disappointment and frustration, mainly if we do not communicate the expectation to the other. How can we expect our partner to meet these expectations if they do not even know about them? The remedy is to lower our anxiety, let our partners be themselves, and accept them and love them for it.
5. Avoid creating an abyss
This is not only a problem of having children but also of other couples who work excessively, travel regularly and do not open their pleasure activities. Unfortunately, couples who do not spend time alone end up creating a distance from each other. Although spending time together when you are with children, friends or family is right, it is also important to spend some time together and alone. If it is difficult to find this time, I suggest that you reserve time for each other throughout the day and take the combination seriously, because if you do not uncheck the dentist or the gym class, why not set the time with the person you love? And when you are together, make an effort to connect, have fun and enjoy yourself,
6. Avoid Dialogue
This sin aggravates all the items on the list since good communication is fundamental to a good relationship. If you have resentment, you should talk about it instead of letting resentment grow. If you are jealous, you should open the game, be honest and expose your insecurity. If you have expectations, you should tell them to your partner. If there are problems, you must acknowledge them and work to solve them. Communication does not just mean talking, discussing the relationship or fighting. Communication means disclosing your feelings (frustration, excuse, fear, sadness, joy) without fear of showing weakness. For the dialogue between the couple to be more interesting, also communicate how happy you are with him (or her), how much you still love him, and how happy you are.
7. Lack of recognition
Lack of recognition is also a great exterminator of related, and generally, it comes allied to lack of dialogue. The coldness of feelings can be understood as a lack of gratitude and appreciation for everything that your partner (or partner) does for you. Every person (even you) wants to be recognized and praised for what you do. Does he wash the dishes or cook something you like? Does she help you, support you or understand your work? Instead of complaining that the kitchen is a mess, or that you must understand your profession, take the time to say thank you, give a kiss and a hug. This little attitude can make the person feel loved by you and essential in your life.
8. Lack of affection and affection exchange
In this item, we are not talking only about sex, but also about sex. Studies prove that for the woman to receive attention from the husband and to be caressed by act as foreplay for intercourse. Affection is important, it does well, and everyone needs some of it, especially coming from whom we love. Take time, every day, to pay attention to your partner; give him a kiss when he or she gets home from work, tell him Good Morning and Good Night, come in from behind and kiss your neck, massage your back while he watches TV and whatever else you allow.
Every relationship will have problems and discussions – but it is vital that you learn to solve them after lowering your guard a little. Unfortunately, many of us are so stubborn that we do not recognize our stubbornness. Avoid wanting to always be right (or right) and put all the mistakes about your partner. To prevent your stubbornness from destroying your dating or marriage, try to relax your opinion and develop the habit of apologizing when you are wrong, and it is indeed your fault. Remember that pride leads to nothing, and as I said, there is no reason to fear to appear weak before the person who loves you. Of course, it will help you correct your mistake rather than reject you for it.
10. Routine and self-indulgence. I decided to leave for the end the most significant relationship killers. After a long time together, the man thinks that it is no longer necessary to send unexpected flowers to his wife, to invite her to dinner on any given night and she also thinks that are no longer necessary, good morning kisses, conversations during the dinner … Anyway, both think that it is no longer necessary to act in a conquering way and suddenly there are two accommodated letting the relationship be conducted by the autopilot of daily obligations.