When a marital relationship includes emotional abuse, the two members of the couple have something in common: both suffer from low self-esteem. This makes it impossible for them to escape the destructive spiral into which their marriage has fallen. The abuser remains in his position because he believes that this is the only way to maintain a relationship that, he believes, belongs to him by right, no matter how he behaved until then in the marriage.
The victim – usually the woman – cannot find a way to escape and is trapped in a relationship that destroys her life a little more with each aggressive comment received. This makes him feel responsible for the destruction of the relationship. For that reason, he usually tries to change his way of being to fix it. In the end, what he does is never enough, and everything ends up going from bad to worse.
It is not unusual for victims of emotional violence to present a facade of strength and confidence before others. The goal of this is to show the world that your marital relationship is normal and solid. Despite this image that projects, the victim knows very well that things are very bad. He knows that, despite all his efforts, marriage does not improve. Inside you are fully aware that, no matter how hard you try, you can never stop the abuser’s sharp tongue or fix your relationship.
At a level that never shows the rest of the world, the victim has a deep need to have a healthy and happy marital relationship. She wants with all her heart to be able to satisfy the needs of her partner and find her strength in the relationship. This feeling makes your partner control it completely. The rejection of itself weakens its own identity and takes away its dignity. He never recognizes his efforts to strengthen the relationship. It destroys any attempt to revitalize marriage with abusive criticism and comments.
In the long term, constant emotional abuse can give your abuser complete control over your life. Once this happens, the victim begins to see herself through the eyes of her abuser, not realizing how distorted this perception is. As it is impossible for her to recognize her courage and strength, the victim is filled with feelings of guilt and helplessness when she can not meet the demands of her partner.
When a woman is in an emotionally abusive relationship, she is filled with painful emotions that are sometimes difficult to control. You can choose between carrying these emotions or emotionally detaching yourself from the reality of your relationship. When detached, the woman continues in marriage but chooses not to face the emotional aspects of this. He has already worked hard so that he has a better perception of her. He has done the best he could and even a little more. However, his heart dies a little each time he says “if you love me, you would try harder” or “if you cared about our relationship, you would not have done that.” Even “how can we have a good relationship if you are distant and do not want to make an effort?” At the end,
Once this phase of detachment arrives, the victim usually falls into a depressive state in which she feels helpless and helpless. At that point, he usually has very little control over his actions and reactions within the marriage. His life is dominated by pain, guilt, despair and, often, anger. It is not uncommon for the victim to behave in a self-destructive way and even try to take his own life.