The enamored heart tends to idealize. We all fall into the trap of thinking that our partner, so good and dedicated, would never be unfaithful to us under any circumstances. But we forget that the very nature of infidelity is to be unexpected. It happens by surprise. And it happens because life is complicated and there are infinite triggers that can lead to a person committed to a relationship to deceive their partner. This is a summary of the most important ones:
1. Needs not met
Over time, a couple may be in love but not enjoy a satisfying sex life. And, as the expert explains, some people seek to solve it with self-satisfaction, others try to fix it by working as a team with their partner, and others end up looking outside the relationship to meet all those needs. It depends, in part, on the communicative capacity of the couple.
There are people whose self-esteem requires more intense external validation to feel good about themselves. This can lead, according to Tower, to “the ability to seduce take center stage, simply to reinforce a sense of desirability.” In these cases, it is not about looking outside sex or affection. It seems for power. It seeks to feel attractive again.
Distance and time are sometimes great enemies. That the couple is in another city for a long time can lead a person to feel alone really. And, although at first, I would try to simply look for the company, “it can easily scale to a wider range of exchange since the longing for connection is a basic human need,” explains Tower.
However stable our relationship may be, the disruptive appearance of people from our past can turn our moral integrity upside down. As Tower says, “the passion of furious teenage hormones can temporarily blind someone whose relationship has evolved to include broader facets.” It is like suffering a regression to a past ‘ I.’
5. Cultural Context
As the psychologist says, “the environmental stimuli that surround us have an acute effect on our behavior.” Social and cultural aspects alter parts of our moral conscience. Thus, in an environmental context where infidelity is tolerated or celebrated, says the specialist, “the attraction to participate in that behavior is strong.” Although resisting, yes, it is not impossible.