During our years of youth and inexperience, dating can often seem like a minefield. Chances are you’ve had to ask yourself questions such as, “How long should I wait to answer a message?” Or “Am I being too easy to continue accepting the invitations?
Engaging in these kinds of mental games can be acceptable if you are still a teenager. But if you are an adult who is looking for a serious romantic relationship, thinking in this way will only make you feel miserable.
There is also a great possibility that you have met people in your adult life who have made your love life very frustrating, when in reality, going out with someone should be a fun activity for both parties.
So, why do some people still think this way when they are dating someone? It may be because they are insecure, immature, or have commitment problems – clearly, they are not emotionally prepared for a serious relationship, and this is shown through how they treat the people they are dating.
People who are not emotionally prepared are terrible candidates for a serious relationship. If you really want to establish a satisfactory relationship with someone, you need to stop playing like that with your mind – and here we present six reasons.
1. Create Toxic Relations
A relationship that builds on insecurity and emotional manipulation is bound to end as it started.
One of the most important pillars of a healthy and stable relationship is trust, because that is what makes two people bond comfortably and are open to sharing their lives. These types of psychological games are a clear signal that you do not trust your potential partner, and your relationship is bound to become unstable and miserably full of problems if you have started to “prove” your partner.
Everyone deserves to have a relationship that provides honesty, support and transparency, would not you like to have that too?
2. Scare Your Potential Couples
People who are emotionally ready for a relationship already know what qualities they want to find in a partner – and what qualities they should avoid.
Emotionally healthy people know that insecure and immature people are inappropriate partners for a serious relationship. Psychological games are a clear sign that you are not emotionally ready for a relationship yet, and mature people know that this only leads to complicated situations between two people. Mature people know that a relationship is a life shared between two people and that it SHOULD be a comfortable union, because if you have other concerns a complicated couple is the last thing you need!
These potential partners may even like you or genuinely love you for what you are, but acting with immaturity will drive them away anyway. Save your anguish and stop ruining your chances of finding the “indicated” AVOIDING those negative thoughts that may arise in your mind!
3. It will always be counterproductive
The saying: “Do not do to others what you do not want them to do to you” can be applied even to your love life. If you want to be treated with respect and kindness, do not entangle your dates with those complicated psychological games: because they will most likely respond in the same way.
Appointments should be a fun activity in which two people spend time getting to know each other, not an endless minefield where you have to maneuver. If you make the people you leave feel insecure, they will eventually treat you in the same way just for revenge.
And even if you and your date end up being incompatible, you do not want to end up with a feeling of resentment. On the contrary, be kind and respectful, no matter how things unfold.
4. Ruin your Opportunities
One of the best ways to satisfy our love interests is by introducing ourselves through mutual friends. But if the people around you are already convinced that you are not fit for a healthy relationship, you will probably be the last person they will want to introduce to their other single friends.
It is normal for people around you to want the best for their other friends. Even if you feel that your love life is insignificant to others, people will subconsciously take note of how you behave and how you handle your love life. They would not like to see a friend suffering because of your psychological games!
If you want to increase your chances of getting love and finding the perfect match, you should start taking your dates seriously. It makes a good impression of how you treat your sentimental life, taking care of the image you create in your social circles.
5. It is selfish
The mere fact of playing with another person’s feelings through your psychological games means that you do not care how that affects you emotionally, because you only care about WIN always.
The constant need to be “winner” in these games is a clear sign of insecurity. A mature and emotionally secure person does not worry about overcoming other people without taking into account their feelings. Therefore, these types of manipulations will only speak more about you as a person.
You are able to build real and healthy connections if you feel comfortable being direct with the person you are interested in.
6. It’s going to burn you
All these deceptions and the stress caused by psychological games will eventually affect your emotional health. It is a clear signal that you are insecure or that you have problems with previous relationships that you obviously have to fix.
Before immersing yourself again in the world of dating, do a self-assessment of how prepared you are for a relationship by analyzing all aspects of your life. If you feel that you are not ready yet, feel free to take a breath and begin the process of healing your past wounds and insecurities.
When you finally feel confident about yourself, you will notice a drastic change in the way you see the world. Through self-care, you will learn to love yourself, which is a prerequisite to learning to love other people.