Psychologists are sure that if all your surroundings seem boring to you, and work does not bring pleasure, the reason is not in others, but in you. However, most people do not hurry to admit to themselves that they are mired in routine and become simply tedious. Of course, every person is more or less boring. But there are those who can safely be called a master of boredom at the 99th level, and they all share several common qualities, which we will tell you about. Today we expose all the bad habits of boring people. Read and keep abreast of the most unpleasant patterns of behavior, which can easily turn even the most cheerful person into a gray bore.
1. Do not let go of the phone
Perhaps one of the most annoying habits of uninteresting people is the constant sticking in the phone. 89% of Americans admit that they are periodically distracted to the phone during a conversation. Most people, whose interlocutors are keen on the phone during a conversation, consider this communication boring and even rude. Polls conducted by researchers from the United States showed that in a conversation with a telephone-dependent person they feel offended and deprived, therefore, further communication is tried to minimize. Put the phone aside – it’s time to remember the real life.
2. They talk only about themselves
People who speak only about themselves are the most terrible interlocutors. Of course, everyone sometimes wants to cry out, or, conversely, tell about their victories. But boring people do this all the time, they do not pay attention to those with whom they communicate, they are not interested in topics that do not concern them personally. If you notice such weakness, try to introduce some restrictions: allocate 5 minutes for complaints, and spend the rest of the time talking on other topics. When the situation got out of hand and you’ve been talking only for yourself for half an hour, balance the conversation and ask the interlocutor about his affairs. Ability to empathy and active listening is the main quality of an interesting person. Do remember a good conversation is the one where you speak not more than 40% of the conversion.
3. They were not surprised
In today’s world, with its frenzied rhythm, it’s easy to become a cynic, become disillusioned with people and lose youthful dreams. Perhaps, we began to forget what it’s like to be surprised by something, to open new perspectives, to enjoy trifles. Boring people are difficult to please – they have already seen it somewhere, no news will not delight them. Their life gradually becomes gray, all bright colors disappear, events lose their sharpness. To combat boredom, psychologists recommend to include “beginner’s thinking”. Start learning something unexpected, communicate with strangers, every day rediscover the world. The ability to learn is a valuable gift, and one must not forget about it.
Boring people are complacent and do not want to take risks, even if they know that this risk is justified. In fact, the refusal to leave the comfort zone is a byproduct of fear for their future and uncertainty about the future. Remember, as Shrek said: “There are no” we “and there is no” our “, there is only me and my swamp!” Sometimes we are all a little bit of Shrek. It’s fear that prevents you from getting out of the usual ruts and destroying the walls built by yourself. But listen, maybe it’s behind these very walls that a beautiful princess awaits you (well, or a donkey). In any case, do not kill the interest in life – this is the main sign of boredom.
5. Do Not Read
Books open up new worlds before us, and this is not a cliche. The more you read, the more you can talk. Boring people prefer not to learn anything new, their fantasy is poor, and conversations are the same. Studies show that regular reading trains a sense of empathy. It is the ability to empathize that makes a person a really good friend and interesting interlocutor. If you decide to fight boredom through reading, follow these simple tips: read 14 books that are classics of literature and are known to everyone, then choose from some of the best-selling books. We are sure that you will be drawn in and will not notice how reading will take you by the head.
6. Surrounded by uninteresting people
In the absence of better options have to communicate with unnecessary people. Try to communicate with those people whose interests are really close to you. Attend events where you can meet like-minded people, look for new acquaintances through the Internet – opportunities for new exciting meetings are waiting literally at every step.
7. A lot of people think about what impression is produced on others
What distinguishes charismatic people from boring ones? There are many variants of the answer, but the main difference is naturalness. Boring people are too concerned about what impression is produced on others, they often rush from one extreme to the other. They are afraid to be funny, then unnaturally have fun, trying to attract attention. In his book “Myths about Charisma” talented coach and speaker Olivia Kabayn argues that charisma and attractiveness are not innate qualities, they can be developed. First and foremost, it is necessary to become warmer to others and in conversation to think not so much about yourself as about the interlocutor. Exhale. Happy and confident people do not care how to please everyone. Be natural, do not be afraid to seem ridiculous or ridiculous. Humor can melt even the icy heart and make communication more interesting.
8. Speech templates are used in conversation
Boring people lead boring conversations. And all because of speech patterns and repetitive scripts. They ask the same questions and get the same answers. In such a conversation there is nothing personal, it does not touch the interlocutor, it is a pure formality. The author of the book “The Eighth Skill” and the world-class specialist on leadership issues Stephen Covey recommends respecting the partner’s personality and talking about what is important to him. Begin to ask questions that really matter to the interlocutor and help him open up. Go away from the usual “How are you?” Ask your friend what really bothers him.
9. They say slowly and tiresomely
Studies have shown that people who tell stories for a very long time are boring. Remember the long lectures on which the teacher could spend hours circling about the same topic, although the students understood him for a long time. Probably everyone has a friend who, for so long and monotonously tells jokes and jokes, that by the end of the narrative you already forget what was in the beginning. Do not get caught in a sticky trap of monotony, short and bright stories are the best remedy for a boring conversation.
10. Afraid to dream about the future
Boring people are deprived of imagination. They simply can not or do not want to dream about the future, make plans. However, one of the main qualities of an interesting interlocutor and easy in all human senses is the ability to think broadly and freely. And the absence of significant desires does not allow you to realize your dreams into reality, psychologists are sure. If a person does not care about his own prospects, if he is not interested in his own future, what interest does he have for others? If you do not dream, then you simply can not make your dreams a reality. Imagine your life as you want it to be, and boldly follow the goal.
11. Strive for excellence
People who are stuck in their comfort zone desperately seek to order everything that surrounds them. They follow the rituals that they invented, make sure that everything around them is correct and predictable. Researchers from the University of Kent argue that perfectionism can take antisocial forms – people just do not want to communicate with those who put unattainable goals not only for themselves but for others. Perfectionists are often demanding and ruthless towards their relatives. Relax and let a little bit of spontaneity into your life. There is no ideal order, and events sometimes develop not according to plan.