Having a long-distance relationship can be complex, but there are certain things that you can do to make long-distance relationship last long.
In a world where more and more people are moving to big cities or constantly traveling for work, it stands to reason that long-distance relationships have become the new normal. But, contrary to what has always been popularly thought, it has been shown that these relationships can work.
We are not going to lie. These types of relationships are not easy. They require a lot of trust, mutual respect, and, above all, patience. Missing, insecurities, or lack of communication can play tricks when there is distance involved.
The first thing you should keep in mind is that, whatever it is, this is a temporary situation. It does not matter if it is five years, six months, or three weeks; if we put it in perspective with how long our lives are, this time apart is probably not even a third of what we have ahead of us with the person we love.
Still, we know how frustrating this situation can be. There are experts who, after studying them, have put together a series of tips to be able to cope with long-distance relationships in the best possible way, strengthening your emotional connection.
Communicate as much as you need
The best thing about long-distance relationships today is that we have all kinds of facilities to find out about the other person’s life: text messages, WhatsApp, phone calls, or video calls. This gives us a certain advantage when it comes to feeling connected with our partners.
But this does not mean that for the relationship to work, we have to talk at all hours, every day of the week. Ideally, you both come to an agreement about what makes you feel better.
It can be talking every day on WhatsApp, making an extensive video call one day a week; or, on the contrary, making shorter video calls daily to catch up. The point is to find a formula that works for both of you, while committing to being flexible.
2.You must be there for the other person (even if it is not physically)
We must be attentive to what our partner’s emotional needs are at all times and respond to them consciously. The other must feel that you want to be present in every important moment of his life, whether it is good or bad.
There are very simple things, but they show that you care about the other person. For example, if you know he has an important meeting, send him a message wishing him luck and ask him how it went afterward. These are apparently insignificant details, but they make a difference on a day-to-day basis.
You have to be aware that we cannot both give 100% of ourselves at all times, and that is what relationships are about. When the other person is going through a difficult stage, we must do more of our part; and, if they offer us 40% momentarily, we will put 60%, and vice versa.
3.Remind your partner what you like about your relationship.
When there is no physical contact, words are twice as important. Therefore, for a long-distance relationship to survive, you must frequently remind each other how much you care or how much you want to see each other. Thus, insecurities are reduced, and you will make it clear where you are in the relationship.
Again, it doesn’t take big gestures or words. A “I can’t wait to see you” or something like “I wish I could go to the movies with you today” is enough.
4.Support each other
If you are going to carry your relationship long distance for a long period of time, it is inevitable that you will change as people and evolve as life progresses. It’s normal and it’s a good thing, but surely the dynamics of your relationship will also need to change in the process.
When a relationship is healthy and stable, both parties allow the other to grow and mature, but manage to stay connected. The most important thing is to support each other and motivate each other to advance your individual passions and interests.
5.Spend time together
Studies show that the healthiest relationships are those where you both need each other but still maintain individual identities. In long-distance relationships, it is common for you to be forced to do more things on your own than you would like, so you should also look for activities that you can do together, even at a distance.
This helps keep you connected as you will have something in common. Otherwise, you can feel as if each one is doing in his life and there is nothing that unites you. It’s as easy as watching a series at the same time, reading a book that you both like, or sharing songs that you like.
6.Learn to solve problems, both in person and from a distance
In any type of relationship it is necessary to know how to approach a problem in a healthy way to solve it. Above all, do not let small conflicts pass, because they can end up becoming big problems.
This can become complex in a long-distance relationship: there are things we don’t like to talk about on the phone, but when we go to see the other person, we don’t want to waste the little time we have together arguing . Following this dynamic we will never be able to share the things that bother us or that we believe can be improved in the relationship. Until we explode.
To avoid this type of situation, you must communicate what is hurting or bothering you at the moment, it does not matter if it is by phone or by message. And, if you find yourself unable to solve it like this, agree to have a conversation about it as soon as you see each other.
7.Focus on the positive aspects of being in a long-distance relationship.
It’s ironic, but there are good things about being in a long-distance relationship, too . As we have already discussed, it gives us independence and freedom to develop as people and learn to enjoy our own company.
In addition, the time you are together is appreciated much more and you both make an effort to enjoy those moments to the fullest and focus on each other. It is useful to make a list of the positive aspects of your relationship at the moment, so that you can focus on them when not seeing the person you love really affects you.
8.Respect the reason why you are separated
The key to a successful long-distance relationship is patience. When things get tough, you may be tempted to go on impulse: quit school or work to move to where your partner is. But you must understand that if you are separated, there is a compelling reason for it, be it professional, economic or family, and it must be respected.
9.Create a long-term plan
If you’re in a relationship with someone you’d like to spend the rest of your life with, at some point you must come up with a plan for your worlds to come together and become one. Making plans for the future is essential to maintain illusion and hope in the relationship.
Above all, do not listen to what others say: long-distance relationships can work. And, even if they are more difficult than usual, putting these tips into practice and maintaining interest on both sides, they can be very long-lasting.
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